Drizzle

I have no pity for people who don't value their lives.
I could never cry for a man who dies while behind the wheel intoxicated.
I could never mourn a suicide.
I don't feel sorry for you when you complain,
Because life is the best thing that will ever happen to you.
It was by the most unlikely odds that you were conceived,
Which makes you more lucky than the thousands of others who will never even have the luck of being born.
In a way, I find my life more affirming and powerful than someone who believes in an afterlife, too.
If you're just living to get somewhere when you die,
Then you're hardly living.
By acknowledging that we only get this one life,
70 or so years on a planet that has been around for billions,
Well, it becomes clear that we are so very finite.
We are a candle that is lit and then instantaneously blown back out,
And the world just keeps turning.
So make the most of every second you have here.
Don't waste your life in dogmatic superstitions,
Hoping to become eternal.
I quit that;
Let go of any imaginary ideas about forever.
I want to live for every second I have here,
Because when I die,
It's done.
Life is temporary,
Which is why I see it as so precious.
Make the most of every breath,
And for the world's sake,
Don't waste your life.

Fake yourself into a new life.

I can't stand coming to a realization that someone I care about is a human facade.
It's a bad moment when you see it in them.
You meet them, they're one way.
You bring them into your life,
They change to fit your puzzle pieces.
Cut parts off their life that don't quite match up until they can squeeze in.
Then they meet someone cooler,
Someone who has more interesting prospects,
And they change again.
Well, fuck you.
So yeah, I'm not as cool, left wing or whatever as the new people who've stepped in,
But at least I know what the fuck I'm talking about when I open my mouth,
I don't preach shit I've never learned,
And at least the words I spit in people's faces don't change with the wind and the seasons like yours do.
As soon as you're done with them you'll be on to something new,
And you'll change again.
I know who I am.
I don't need other motherfuckers to tell me.
I don't need to be like you,
Or anyone you introduce me to.
So again, fuck you,
Hypocrite.
Be on the lookout for that wind,
It's bringing changes for you again.
Let's write songs about it.
Joker.

It's a Warm Gun

I am starting to realize that when I have enough time on my hands I start to self-depreciate for fun.
I make myself miserable on purpose,
Almost as if I just want to see how fucking pissed off or bummed I can really get.
I don't know why I do it,
But I don't really see is as a really negative thing.
It's just realistic sometimes.
The world can suck,
And I can see it.
I never really understood the idea of it until recently, but Anxiety Attack, Tanner, and whatever movie it is that they're quoting have got it so unbelievably right:
Fuck happy.

Men.

My job has finally gotten me to this point of being immensely sick of the American idea of masculinity.
Over night, there are no women around us,
And the pathetic washout jerkoffs I work with have nothing better to do than patronize and objectify them.
When I, of course show up and don't bother taking part in shitty conversations about fucking, cheating, lying, looking and eye-fucking, how does the beer-drinking American man respond to me?
Why, I must be a faggot, is, of course, his immediate assumption.
Well, you worthless homophobes, would it be a problem if I was gay?
Of course it would, then you'd want to kick my ass.
Well, if not being a pig makes me non-heterosexual, then fuck it.
I don't want to be.
I still am sexually attracted to women, but I'd prefer to respect them as well.
And if you can't respect that, then fuck off.
I have no time in my life for machismo and he-men,
And that includes you.

"And you call yourself a ____"

I am so very sick of pretentious labels people give themselves.
Things like:
"I'm an artist."
"I'm a musician."
"I'm a poet."
"I'm a writer."

When, in reality, they are hardly anything of the sort.
Labels seem to be able to fill peoples needs to feel significant in their current roles, but they also somewhat breed discontent.
Instead of just being pleased with who they are, they feel the need to affix a title to themselves,
Thinking it will give them meaning,
Or something.
Let's move past it,
Let's learn to be content with who we are for simply who we are, not what we want others to perceive us as being.
My name is Josh.
Sometimes I enjoy drawing and painting,
Sometimes I enjoy writing.
That is all.
My name is still Josh.

New Year

Welcome to 2009.
Welcome to the end of whatever you thought you knew.
Stay tuned.